At some point in our lives we have told ourselves we are not good enough or not worthy. And we begin to believe it. We carry these feelings of self worth into adulthood. For me it was probably when I was in high school. I told my self I can’t run. I can’t swim so I would avoid participating in athletics carnivals, cross country and swimming carnivals. It wasn’t that I couldn’t run or swim they weren’t my strengths. I felt like I couldn’t run. Looking back in hindsight it was the fear of coming last, the fear of being ridiculed for coming last, the fear of being teased in my swimmers about my body. So I told myself I couldn’t do it and I started to believe i wasn’t good enough to run or swim. But you know what…. someone’s gotta come last right? Instead of booing or ridiculing someone for coming last, shake their hand and say well done you gave it a go. Give them a pat on the back and say “awesome job”.
But since then, I have completed over half a dozen half marathons, half a dozen triathlons and in 2014 i completed the New York Marathon. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I could run a Marathon, 42.2km!
When i did the NYC Marathon in 2014….I don’t know what I was thinking. I wanted to do a marathon to prove to myself that I was capable of doing anything I wanted. I wanted to prove to myself that I could run. I am worthy. I am capable. I wanted to show my kids that anything is possible if you just put your mind to it. and believe in yourself.
I completed that Marathon in 6 hours!! 6 hours of running. I was in pain. Running is definitely a mental challenge as well as physical.
I was in the most amazing city in the world. It was 5 degrees. The winds were over 100km per hour. It was the strongest winds in history for the NYC marathon. And one thing I hated when i was training was running in the wind….and of course the universe gave me what I didn’t wantt….WIND. The windchill factor was -5. I was wearing long skins, tracksuit pants, my Australian T-shirt (from the heart foundation as I had raised $10 000 for them), a long sleeve shirt, a jumper, a wind jacket, a beanie, a hat on top of my beanie, a scarf and i had those little hand warmers down my back and in my gloves. It was damn cold.
So anyway. I started the run. We started in New Jersey and ran across the Verrazano Bridge or should I say blown across the bridge. It was amazing to run through the city, people cheering on every corner, bands in every borough. If I was going to run 42.2km I wanted to do it some where special. So New York it was. I had made it half way and my body was hurting. I had started to get blisters. I had ditched the track pants and jumper but still had everything else on.
I saw a sign with the number 5 and I was like YES YES YES only 5km to go and then I realised that it was in miles. I almost died. 5 miles is like 8 or 9km. I wanted to quit. I wanted to jump in a taxi and go home. But I couldn’t. So I started walking. Along came past a blind man….and then a man in a wheelchair with someone pushing him. They were running. And I thought to myself….Your in the most amazing city in the world and your crying because you have a blister and here is this blind man running and this man in a wheel chair…..suck it up Tracy You can do this…If they can do it so can you… You are a runner…You are strong.. And those words became my mantra for the next 5 miles “I am strong” “I can do this” I am a runner”
I got over the finish line..it was dark by this time, still cold and just before i crossed the finish line the officials wanted me to take of my jumper so they could see my Aussie Shirt for a photo. I did it. And when I crossed that line….I cried…. I cried my eyes out….I was so happy I finished….so proud of myself for not giving up…YES it took me 6 hour but I did it. Would I do it again? Probably but it would have to be somewhere special again. Maybe London or Paris??
It was one on the best experiences of my life. To achieve something you thought you couldn’t achieve. Proving to your self… you are capable, you are worthy. Anything is possible if you just believe in your self. We are stronger then we think we are.
So I put it too you. What do you want to achieve? What have you told yourself that you couldn’t do? Fear will hold us back and stop us from living our life. What are we afraid of? Failing?
Face Everything And Rise.
Have an amazing Day!
Yours in Health & Fitness