‘Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand brake on’
Nobody was born with limitless self-confidence. If someone seems to have incredible self-confidence, it’s because he or she has worked on building it for years. Self-confidence is something that you learn to build up, because in this challenging world of business, and life in general, it can deflate your confidence, a negative comment, a request for a refund from a customer or a flat rejection can all cause our self-confidence to dwindle. Well-meaning but sometimes unkind comments from those closest to us can also hit us hard.
On top of this, we have to deal with our inner critic of self-doubt that constantly tells us that we are not good enough.
When bombarded by so many elements that threaten our self-confidence, we need to take charge of building it up for ourselves.
I was never very confident. In high school getting up in front of other students and doing speeches was so scary, I couldn’t do it. If someone told me then that I would be getting up in front of people and teaching fitness classes now I would of said ‘NO WAY’ but here I am today not afraid of teaching classes every single day.
How did I build my confidence?
1. Self Belief
We are our own worst critic. We spend our time judging ourselves and telling ourselves we are not good enough, worthy enough or smart enough but in fact we are more than that. We need to spend time being kind to ourself and believing in ourselves.
I spent many years believing I wasn’t smart enough, good enough not worthy enough, too fat to be a personal trainer. But then one day I was like you know what, I may not be the skinniest personal trainer or the most athletic but I know what it takes to achieve your goals. I worked god damn hard to get to where I am I wasn’t going to let my own monkey mind bring me down. So I said enough is enough. I started telling my self I am good enough.
When we become more competent in our tasks we develop more confidence. I’ve seen this within myself. The more courses I’ve done to improve my fitness knowledge the more my confidence has increased.
3. Learn from Failures
Failures can instantly decrease our confidence. Too many people are discouraged about their abilities because they set themselves goals that are unrealistic. Start by setting yourself small goals that you can win easily.
Once you have built a stream of successes that make you feel good about yourself, you can then move on to bigger goals. Make sure that you also keep a list of all your achievements, both large and small, to remind yourself of the times that you have done well. Always celebrate the wins no matter how big or small.
If you happen to fail your goal ask yourself what can you learn from this and how can I do it different or better to achieve the outcome I desire. A failure is only a failure if you don’t learn anything from it.
4. Care for yourself
Self-confidence depends on a combination of good physical health, emotional health and social health. It is hard to feel good about yourself if you hate your physique or constantly have low energy.
Make time to cultivate a great exercise routine, eating and sleep habits. In addition, dress the way you want to feel. You have heard the saying that “clothes make the man.” Build your self-confidence by making the effort to look after your own needs.
I know when I am in my best physical shape I feel more confident.
5. Stop Worrying about what other people think.
This was big for me. I was always worried about what people thought about me. I always felt people would be saying ‘I’m too fat’ to be a personal trainer and this is something I work on for a long time. For years after I lost my weight I still felt the same, even though I could see it in the mirror, I had smaller clothes, I could feel my body was smaller, I was getting compliments but, in my mind I still felt fat. And now, I put on a few kilos my confidence takes a hit, I have never gotten close to putting on the amount of weight I was before and I never will.
But what I do do now is say ‘f@#k what people say or think’ If they don’t like what they see, there’s the door don’t let it hit you on the way out. I really don’t care.
6. Change your body language.
The way you hold your body says a lot about your confidence. If you slouch forward, head down, speak softly this shows me you are not confident in your self. If you stand tall, shoulders back, smile, speak clear and loud this shows me confidence.
I say fake it till you make it. Change the way you hold your body and feel as though you have all the confidence in the world and soon enough you will.
So if you’re needing help improving confidence let me help you by getting you in the best shape of your life. When you feel good your self confidence will improve. Trust me!
Light & Love